Author: system

Will the competition come to me? Don’t train your child to be an exam-taking machine.

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Written by: Mr. Victor Ching, Registered Psychologist, Child Psychological Development Association

I have been working in early childhood education for some time and has observed that many institutions and parents have distorted values, which ultimately harms the next generation. However, I also understand the pressure parents face, possibly due to excessive competition.

My educational philosophy is to inspire children’s interest in learning. The child has attended various interest classes and participated in public competitions voluntarily. I never forced learning but instead exposed the child to different things from a “play” perspective to spark interest. Not everything introduced will capture the child’s interest, but that’s okay because there are many fun things in the world!

For example, the child once tried playing the piano at a nearby piano store and fell in love with it, insisting on learning. However, I did not immediately enroll the child in lessons but allowed for more exposure to confirm the interest. Even after studying for over a year, the child has not taken any exams because I believe the interest should not be overshadowed by the pressure of exams and does not want the child to lose interest in music.

Regarding a Mandarin recitation competition, when the child was in K1, the teacher selected students for the competition, but the child was not chosen. The mother told the child to express the desire to participate directly to the teacher. The same situation occurred in K2, and the family’s response was consistent. By K3, when the teacher was selecting students again, the child raised a hand and loudly stated the ability to speak Mandarin, leading to successful inclusion in the competition. Since then, the child has been eager to participate in competitions, happy with wins but also learning to face failures constructively. I believe that this sense of achievement motivates the next generation to participate and try spontaneously.

Taking ping pong as another example, the child wanted to learn after playing with their grandparent during a family church trip at a campsite. Of course, I did not agree immediately but bought a pair of ping pong rackets to play with the child in the park. When it was time to learn seriously, the child was diligent, and after a few months of practice, was able to rally with the coach for nearly two rounds, which is quite an achievement.

Learning from interest boosts confidence

Wouldn’t it be better if all learning stemmed from interest? This is my philosophy.

I understand that kindergartens require interviews, but the “training” methods differ greatly. I also run interview and adaptation classes, and many students have successfully entered prestigious schools (nearly 76% of the interviewed students were admitted to the top 50 kindergartens or key schools/international schools in Hong Kong), but the approach used involves activities and games that not only make the children happy but also boost their confidence.

We all love the next generation, but can parents bear to train them into exam-taking machines?

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Is learning and being immersed in art really that important?

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Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

Having worked in education for many years, I have encountered numerous parents who choose “quick-fix,” short-term courses or extracurricular activities for their children, which can be described as somewhat utilitarian. Conversely, they tend to undervalue non-utilitarian courses or activities that pursue aesthetics. Generally, what most attracts parents’ attention are subjects or talent classes where their children can participate in competitions, have certification ratings, or show significant results. 

Art Education Has a Long-term Impact on Children

I firmly believe that under a utilitarian education system, there will be a profound impact on children’s future attitudes towards life.

Art education is unique, beautiful, and full of creativity. Children are not only learning the theory and techniques of art, but the process also stimulates their creativity and imagination. In the long run, art education greatly aids children’s behavior, as well as their learning and thinking.

Experiencing Art in Life

We encounter art in our daily lives every day. In life, we can find many beautiful things, such as rich emotions, different tastes, unique feelings, and visual enjoyment. All of these can provide a comfortable state of mind amidst a busy life, allow you to experience the diversity and fun of this world, and discover the preciousness of tranquil beauty.

Parents Need to Lead by Example and Value Their Children’s Thoughts

In fact, whether it’s intelligence education or art education that emphasizes the cultivation of aesthetics, I believe the most important thing is for parents to provide companionship and support to their children. If you want to cultivate an artistic temperament in your child, you should understand that art education starts with yourself, especially the need to listen, accept, and understand your child’s thoughts, and tolerate the ways they express creativity. Children will easily develop an aesthetic temperament from a young age.

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16th April “K3 Graduation Trip “
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Reconsidering Giving Up Seats

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Shirley Loo: Reconsidering giving up seats

I’ve always known that giving up one’s seat is a virtue.

But at this age, when I see people entering the subway car, most are looking at their phones. If I am fortunate enough to have a seat, would I give it up? To be honest, if I see someone younger than me, I would continue to sit comfortably. However, if I see an elderly person, with a mask, white hair, and unsteady steps, of course, I would give up my seat immediately.

The big prerequisite for giving up a seat, though, is that our eyes can’t be glued to our phones. Otherwise, we’ll miss these ‘opportunities’ right in front of us, right?

As for being offered a seat, I have never had that experience so far. Probably because I dye my hair and move about freely, although I am close to being elderly, I still appear to be in the ‘no need to give up a seat’ category.

A friend asked me, if someone really stood up to offer me their seat, would I sit down? Honestly, no. Unless my hands are full and I’m extremely tired, I still feel that ‘if you can stand, stand.’ This is probably the dignity and persistence of a middle-aged woman.

This is your mother’s reflection on the issue of giving up one’s seat. Because I am in such an awkward position between ‘to offer or not to offer’ and ‘to sit or not to sit.’

Until you were pregnant and I called to ask how your subway commute to work was going every day. You always said, ‘No one gives up their seat’ (especially on the Kowloon line). Those men in suits always keep their heads down, looking at their phones, indifferent to those around them, even as your belly gets bigger and bigger, the number of people giving up their seats is pitifully small, if any at all.

Facing such an indifferent city where only phones are seen and not neighbors, my heart is not at ease. So I can only pray for your safety every day, hoping that someone will be kind enough to let you ‘sit comfortably’ for a while. Secondly, it also makes me deeply reflect on the topic of parent-child education, on how to encourage parents to teach their children the virtue of giving up seats (since many parents nowadays tend to ‘hog seats’ for their young and strong children).

This profound lesson will probably also make you understand what to do when you see a pregnant woman in the future!

Ho Ying : The virtue of giving up one’s seat

 

Since I was young, I knew that we should give up our seats to those in need. Since 2009, “priority seats” have appeared on various modes of transportation in Hong Kong, and I thought this tradition would continue. When I first found out I was pregnant, I also said to a friend who was about to give birth, “On the subway, people should give up their seats for you, right?” Her response surprised me: “How could that be? From the time I got pregnant until now, I take the subway to and from work every day, and the number of times someone has given up their seat for me can be counted on one hand.” Besides her, many friends have shared their experiences with me, telling me not to expect anyone to give up their seat.

How could this be? Isn’t giving up seats something we’ve learned since childhood? At first, I didn’t quite believe it. But over the past few months, as my belly has grown day by day, I thought there would be more and more chances for people to give up their seats. Unexpectedly, I still had to fight for a seat myself. Every time I enter the carriage, what I see is rows of “heads-down tribe,” either looking at their phones or fast asleep. Occasionally someone would look up to see which station we had arrived at, but even if they saw someone in need, they would quickly turn their heads back to their phones, pretending not to see.

Friends always ask, “Did you go to the priority seat? Those people should be more likely to give up their seats, right?” From my experience, most people sitting in priority seats think they have a need to sit down and won’t think of giving up their seats. Passengers sitting in other seats always feel that there are priority seats to take care of those in need, so they don’t think of giving up their seats either.

Some friends suggested, “Then you should wear tighter clothes and touch your belly so that others can see it!” I’ve tried this too, but people just look at me with puzzled eyes and then look down at their phones.

Gradually, I’ve found that the people who usually give up their seats are mothers with children, as they have also gone through the stage of pregnancy. If I enter a carriage filled with working men one day, the chances of someone giving up their seat greatly decrease.

If we want to change the ethos of the entire city, we can only teach this virtue to our children by setting an example, so that love and warmth can reappear in the next generation.

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Learning with movement and immobility

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Registered Educational Psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

In situations where social resources are scarce, children have little that is fun or interesting to engage with; however, when the objects in front of them show no minor changes and there are no detailed verbal or written instructions, children can still observe the differences and similarities between what they see now and what they have seen before, or make associations with other things they have encountered. They even try to describe their observations in their own words. This is active learning, which not only educates the mind but also unconsciously enhances psychological qualities.

With the continuous advancement of modern technology, everyone can travel the world instantly from the comfort of their homes through television or smartphones. But does watching TV or online information require concentration? It turns out that being able to watch video messages does not necessarily mean that children are attentively learning, as this falls under the category of passive learning. It requires colorful messages and continuous verbal narration, and lacking any of these elements might lead to a lack of focus.

Even though students still need to learn in classrooms today, with the help of information technology, it seems possible for them to see distant scenarios without boundaries. Unfortunately, there are still shortcomings; they need to experience these settings firsthand to gain a more comprehensive understanding and learning experience. Modern learning requires the involvement of more sensory channels to stimulate students’ motivation to learn. Are there other options available?

Human desires are endless, but resources are finite. Is it possible to endlessly stimulate learning through multiple senses? Should we pause and consider why more and more people are proposing vegetarianism, or having a meat-free day on Mondays? Some suggest returning to a simpler, more primitive way of life. Learning activities and arrangements might need similar actions to help children grasp the essence of learning and experience the authenticity of the learning process.

To achieve this reversal, guidance from parents and teachers is needed to change the trends and habits of this era; there are now some suggested activities for parents and teachers to consider, such as: trying to turn off the volume of the television, letting them experience what it is like to be deaf, only able to see and not hear to absorb information; they can also cover the television screen with cloth, making them feel like they are listening to a radio, only able to imagine the scene from other people’s speech, still able to grasp the plot without visual aid, and for example, placing some food in one of three cups, asking them to smell which cup contains the food, which is a lot of kinesthetic learning.

Parents and teachers make some small actions in teaching, which may produce some unclear factors that make them hesitate, but at the same time, it also generates more curiosity, and under guidance, they can have greater motivation to learn, starting from being moved emotionally and intellectually, then leading them to pursue what they want to hear and see, becoming active and enthusiastic learners!

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22nd March “Sport day “

Children’s exposure to biliteracy and trilingualism

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Written by: Cheng Sui Man

One afternoon, as my two-and-a-half-year-old twin boys were eating homemade jelly cups, the older one suddenly said:

“Mommy, help me scoop scoop please!” “Huh? Scoop what?” “Help me scoop scoop.”

At that moment, the older twin pushed the jelly cup and a small spoon towards me, and I suddenly realized: “You want me to help you scrape the jelly clean from the bottom of the cup!”

“Mommy, help me scoop scoop please!” This short sentence contains biliteracy and trilingualism: Cantonese, English, and Fujian. Those who know Fujian or Taiwanese will understand that the “scoop” that my brother is talking about is not the “buckle” of “button”, but the Cantonese pronunciation of Fujian, which is similar to the word “buckle”, and means “to scrape, to pull out, and to dig”. If my brother were to say this to my father, who is 100% Cantonese, I believe that even if father guesses until the sunset, he still won’t be able to figure out its meaning. So where did you learn the word “scoop”? In fact, no one specifically taught my son the word, I believe it was just my mom’s habit of speaking Fujian at home, and as my son listened to her, he picked it up without realizing it. As for the appearance of the English word “Please”, I believe many of you can imagine that it mainly comes from the domestic helper at home.

Is it better for younger children to be exposed to more languages? Not necessarily. Some child psychiatrists say that the language environment in many Hong Kong families is “chaotically multinational,” with parents speaking Cantonese, grandparents speaking Chinese dialects, and domestic helpers speaking Filipino-style English or Indonesian-style Cantonese. Too many different languages can be confusing for young children. It is recommended that children under two years old grow up in a monolingual environment to master one language well before introducing another language into their lives.

For example, parents who want their children to excel in English might specifically hire a Filipino domestic helper (since Filipino helpers generally insist on speaking English, while Indonesian helpers often learn Cantonese). Doctors also remind parents that it is best to try to maintain purely English conversations at home. Mixing Chinese and English does not help children learn languages effectively and may even cause confusion in young children, affecting their language development progress.

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Stranger anxiety: Anxiety towards strangers

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Written by:  Hong Kong registered psychologist, Ching Wai Keung   

When discussing the formation of attachment, it is not difficult to observe that children, from infancy (approximately from birth to two years old), already exhibit feelings of anxiety, including stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. These anxieties typically begin to appear between six months and one year of age. This time, we will focus on discussing stranger anxiety.

Simply put, stranger anxiety is what parents often refer to as fear of strangers, and the behaviors derived from it are what we commonly call “recognizing people.” The intensity of fear of strangers can vary; mild cases may only show reluctance to be held by strangers or avoidance of strangers’ gazes, while severe cases can involve extreme discomfort or even crying loudly just from a stranger’s glance.

Firstly, I must explain that under normal circumstances, fear of strangers should be seen as a positive developmental signal, indicating that the child is capable of distinguishing between caregivers and others. Parents should not be overly concerned.

Secondly, an infant’s reaction to strangers often changes depending on the external environment, including the current objective environment, the stranger’s actions towards the infant, the distance between the infant and their primary caregiver, and the caregiver’s reaction to the stranger (Keltenbach, Weinraub, & Fullard, 1980). For example, if the primary caregiver interacts with the stranger in a positive manner, using friendly speech and tone, the child’s response is likely to be more positive as well (Feinman & Lewis, 1983).

Therefore, if parents want to reduce their child’s anxious behaviors when facing strangers, they can start by modifying their own behaviors. When interacting with others, they can increase their smiles, be more proactive, improve their tone of voice and body language. Don’t forget that parents are the lifelong teachers of their children! Of course, parents do not need to rush to change the behavior of infants and toddlers in a short time. As they develop the ability to self-regulate, their performance in managing anxiety may greatly improve!

The emotion of fear of strangers actually follows us throughout our lives. Are you able to speak freely in front of strangers? Do you feel anxious during job interviews? Therefore, a little anxiety is normal. The most important thing is how we can improve our performance when anxious.

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The most important thing in teaching children is values

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Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan

In recent years, news of parent-child tragedies has become increasingly common. The root cause lies in severe deviations in parent-child relationships, familial bonds, and individual roles in family responsibilities. This results in resentment, blame-shifting, and an inability to combat negative thoughts, sometimes leading to the desire to harm others as a form of self-relief.

Guiding Children on the Right Path Through Parental Values

Although parents may feel heartbroken, they cannot turn back time to rebuild affectionate relationships with their children or restore the value of familial bonds. People do not have the choice to select their parents, so they must cherish the relationships they have. However, parents can seize the present moment to let their children know that they are the most selfless people in the world, allowing them to feel the warmth and tenderness of their parents. Since we never know when we might no longer be by our children’s side, the only things that can help them make judgments, prevent them from going astray, and resist negative temptations are the values and parent-child relationships taught by their parents. Children must understand that regardless of whether family life is smooth or challenging, it is a gift and a form of training. Through this training, people become stronger, making it an invaluable element of growth.

When we witness the tragedies of other families and individuals, it serves as a warning to resolutely avoid following the same path. At the same time, parents should realize that when they pass away, the only things they leave behind for their descendants are a lifetime of wisdom, culture, and the character they have instilled in their children. At this moment, what do parents expect from their children? I hope: “Just be a good person.” Storytelling education is a way to impart important values to children, facilitate communication, and build parent-child relationships.

The value of familial affection lies in accumulating intimacy from a young age. 

Parents must strive to build intimacy with their children from an early age. The following example demonstrates how a mother can meet her child’s need for security, highlighting the importance of building intimacy and empathy:

One day, a 2-year-old baby suddenly raised their hands and stood on tiptoe, seemingly craving adult affection. We often refer to this behavior as “acting spoiled.” However, the father said, “Hold the baby? Okay, stand properly for Daddy to see first.” At this moment, the baby turned to the mother, raised their hands again, and stood on tiptoe, showing a strong desire for care. The mother immediately embraced the baby and said touching and selfless words to the father: “Ah, the love of Mommy and Daddy is not something the baby needs to beg for; love is always there, and we don’t have many days to be this close. Let the baby feel our love.” This story allows everyone to savor the value, role, and response of being a parent.

Additionally, I have several tips for promoting parent-child relationships and story education to share:

  1. Let your children understand your values, viewpoints, and response methods through your actions.
  2. Do not make your children fear your calls or feel annoyed, including only testing or completing tasks you assign.
  3. Parental instruction methods should only be used in situations that endanger health or life; otherwise, just warn of the consequences and respond calmly to the child’s anger and pain after they face the consequences.
  4. When children proactively share things, encourage them to express their viewpoints, hypothesize by taking on another role, and analyze emotions and thoughts to increase empathy.
  5. Create more opportunities for shared learning and topics, allowing you and your children to have similar feelings and experiences.
  6. If a child’s response in a story shows a deviation in values, such as tendencies toward violence or revenge, express that this makes you sad and guide the child to think of reasonable solutions or the benefits of letting go of the issue.

In summary, everyone has emotional and psychological needs for satisfaction. To help children grow in a balanced way emotionally and cognitively, parents must cultivate themselves to manage their families. Parents need to have the ability to judge and understand the entire value of their child’s life: happiness and contribution. Only then can children inherit and spread the mission of love through your example and teachings.

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Whose trash is it? The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation to be successful

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Written by: Mr. Cheung Wai Ching, Principal

There are two scenes in front of us:

Scene One:

On a bustling street, a little boy walking with his parents notices a discarded soda can at his feet. He picks up the can, intending to throw it into a nearby trash bin. However, his mother sees this and demands that he throw the can away, but the boy refuses. Then, his father comes over and scolds him, “Idiot, how can you pick up such dirty things? You’re not a street cleaner!” The little boy responds, “The teacher said we should protect the environment and not litter!” The mother says, “You didn’t throw it, so why bother?” The little boy looks confused but has no choice but to throw the trash back on the ground.

Scene Two:

On a crowded train station platform, a young mother is with a boy about 5 or 6 years old. After finishing his juice, the boy casually throws the empty box under the seat. The mother quickly picks up the empty box, hands it to her son, and says, “Good boy, throw the empty box into the trash bin in front.” A moment later, the mother and son hug each other affectionately, and the mother softly says to her son, “We must protect the environment and not litter!”

Isn’t the boy in Scene One quite pitiful? He must be confused by the different educational methods of his parents and teacher.

School education, besides teaching children textbook knowledge, also emphasizes moral education. Protecting the environment is a well-known principle. When schools and teachers are fully cultivating this sense of public morality in children, if parents can cooperate with the school, encourage children to follow the teacher’s guidance, and set an example themselves, children can receive positive education, rather than learning one set of standards at school and facing another in real life.

Home-School Cooperation in Cultivating Children’s Character

Schools have many requirements for students, such as punctuality, discipline, orderliness, service, and cleanliness, all of which are part of moral education. The aim is for children to realize from a young age that they are part of society and have responsibilities and obligations, not just to gain benefits. Imagine, if the boy in Scene One, after hearing his parents’ reasoning, adopts the mindset of “since I didn’t throw it, I don’t need to pick it up” even at home, what would the parents think? Every parent hopes their child will consciously care for the cleanliness of their home environment and appreciate their parents’ hard work. But have you ever thought: if you never teach your child to respect the labor of cleaners, and never personally demonstrate care for the larger social environment in front of your child, how will the child learn to care for the small environment at home?

A survey found that nearly 80% of schoolchildren rarely say “thank you” when helped by elders or domestic helpers. Some children even believe that it is the domestic helper’s job to take care of them, so there is no need to be particularly polite to them. Additionally, few schoolchildren say “good morning,” “good night,” or “let’s eat” to their parents.

Why do children lack manners? It is because parents themselves do not say “thank you” to others or to domestic helpers. Some parents frequently or occasionally rebuke and scold elders or interrupt others while they are speaking. Besides occupying seats on public transportation, some parents also cut in line or do not queue in public places. Parents and teachers are role models for children, and our every word and action constantly influence their values. Parents must always be vigilant about their behavior and should try to correct their children’s impolite attitudes immediately, but remember to use appropriate tone and language. Parents should also take time each day to guide their children to reflect on their mistakes, making the lessons more impactful. The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation, with parents playing an even more crucial role than teachers

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