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Parenting Articles

Teaching children about social etiquette and interpersonal skills

Parenting Articles
December 2024

Written by: Education expert, Chu Wud Man

As a child, I occasionally saw wild geese in autumn. I would sometimes see my mother counting the calendar and muttering to herself, and I would also hear my sister say that in another month, Dad would be coming back for the Lunar New Year… Life was always full of expectation and longing. So, my siblings and I would work hard on our schoolwork and study diligently, because we all hoped that by the end of the twelfth lunar month, we could bring a little more comfort to our returning father.

As time and the world change, the rapid development of communication devices has made communication between people more convenient. To hear the voice of a person you long for, you only need to make a phone call, send a text message, or even participate in a group discussion. All of this is the convenience brought about by technological advancement, and the handwriting of letters home has become a distant memory.

However, I still vividly remember the childhood memories of writing letters home for my mother. She would dictate a sentence, and I would write it down. Sometimes, I would see my mother tearing up as she longed for her relatives back home, and I would involuntarily choke up as well. The experience of writing letters home made me appreciate the preciousness of family bonds and understand the feelings of longing and patience.

Some people believe that some young people today lack social etiquette, and one of the reasons for this phenomenon is the change in communication patterns. When you ride the subway, you can’t help but notice the curious sight of people buried in their phones, sorting through data. Spending the whole day in front of a computer or phone, without the need for face-to-face communication, naturally makes it difficult to improve interpersonal skills. The fast pace of society also tends to squeeze out space for contemplation, and without the experience of waiting and longing, it is difficult to cultivate a sincere and upright character. These problems in the growth of children that have emerged in recent years are issues that we all need to pay attention to.

In addition to paying attention to whether children are using communication devices appropriately, parents should also guide them to reduce their usage time and avoid being “inseparable from the device.” During family dinners, parents can share their work experiences or hardships with their children, allowing them to understand society from different perspectives and appreciate the efforts of their parents, which can inspire them to think more carefully. Furthermore, when the family is about to arrange important events, parents should also let the children express their opinions, so that they can learn to look forward to their days and long for their family members. Learning about human relationships through communication between people is an excellent growth experience. Dear parents, as we enjoy the benefits brought by modern technological advancement, we should not overlook the impact of technological development on the mental growth of our children.

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Parenting Articles

Learning to solve problems with wisdom

Parenting Articles
December 2024

Written by: Octopus parent, Mr. Thomas Chiu

Mom: “If Mommy gets captured by the Gruffalo (the monster from the cartoon) and taken into the forest, what should we do?”

Hei Hei: “I will cook a meal for the Gruffalo to eat, because if the Gruffalo is full, it won’t eat Mommy! And Mommy said that after eating the meal, she can have the dishes!”

That was a conversation between the mother and Hei Hei. I greatly appreciate Hei Hei’s creativity, but I am most delighted that he tries to solve the problem with wisdom, rather than immediately resorting to violence to directly eliminate the obstacle, such as beating or even “killing” the Gruffalo and then rescuing Mommy. Or finding the police to arrest the Gruffalo, and then rescuing Mommy – these would be direct methods.

What’s wrong with the Gruffalo capturing Mommy because it was hungry? Does the solution have to be to eliminate it? If we let the Gruffalo eat its fill, it will naturally release Mommy! We should be able to accommodate each other’s ways of living; it doesn’t always have to be a life-or-death situation. I want my child to have their own stance, but at the same time, they need to learn to be tolerant of others, including their actions and even their mistakes. If we do not agree with someone’s behavior, we should try to persuade them with our own words and arguments.

It is always better to solve problems with wisdom rather than resorting to various forms of violence. There are always win-win solutions, as long as all parties make an effort to find them.

Focus on Interests, Not Positions

The author has read a famous book on negotiation techniques, titled “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In,” which introduces five principles of “Principled Negotiation” that are very useful. One of the principles is to “Focus on Interests, Not Positions.” In today’s society, where there are various conflicts, if the parties involved can prioritize the public interest over their own positions, and not just oppose each other because you are on the left and I am on the right, or because of differing positions, without the need for one side to emerge victorious, then even if your position or the side you support wins, what is the cost to society? Has the public interest truly increased because your position has prevailed?